As Janeen Delaney looked at the capsule in her hand, she thought, ‘Boy, there’s so much promise. I am so ready for this.’ She was about to take a dose of psilocybin, the hallucinogenic compound found in magic mushrooms, as part of a 2008 study at Johns Hopkins University. Researchers were investigating whether a mystical experience brought on by the psychedelic would have a therapeutic effect on people with end-of-life anxiety. Janeen had been diagnosed with leukaemia three years previously.
‘I was living in fear,’ she says placidly, in a video interview. ‘My greatest fear was that I wouldn’t find that fullness, that place of contentment in my life before the process of dying.’ Janeen took the capsule, lay down and waited for the ‘magic’ to happen. ‘It was so overwhelmingly beautiful that tears were falling down my face.’ Samuel Barber’s ‘Adagio for Strings’ was playing through her headphones. ‘My breath was following this note up, and when the note stopped, I held my breath. I thought, “Ha, it’s okay not to breathe. How could it be that simple? Dear God, it is that simple! Remember that when you get [to the end of life]: it’s okay not to breathe anymore.”’
Janeen emerged from the session feeling totally reassured. ‘I just knew everything was going to be okay,’ she says. ‘This study changed everything: I’m more patient, I take time to be present, I smile and say thank you – because I get to breathe another day. So I have a few years chopped off my life but look at the quality that I’m able to experience now. If I got this for a week it would have been worth it – that I’ve had it for a year is astounding.’ Janeen died in 2015. In the end, she had it for seven years.
‘PSYCHOACTIVISM’
この記事は Fairlady の December 2019 版に掲載されています。
7 日間の Magzter GOLD 無料トライアルを開始して、何千もの厳選されたプレミアム ストーリー、9,000 以上の雑誌や新聞にアクセスしてください。
すでに購読者です ? サインイン
この記事は Fairlady の December 2019 版に掲載されています。
7 日間の Magzter GOLD 無料トライアルを開始して、何千もの厳選されたプレミアム ストーリー、9,000 以上の雑誌や新聞にアクセスしてください。
すでに購読者です? サインイン
'DESIRE IS NOT WHAT MATTERS'
Emily Nagoski wrote the book on women and desire - literally. And then her own sex life dried up. Here's what a prolonged sex drought (and a load of research) taught her about maintaining intimacy in a long-term relationship.
'We have to tell HARD STORIES'
Theatre director and playwright Yaël Farber is spending time in South Africa after her critically acclaimed run of King Lear at the Almeida Theatre in London. We chatted to her about the importance of the pursuit of truth.
THE WHY, THE WHICH & the wardrobe
We really got into it this month! Read on for more on the allure of a loosey-goosey jumpsuit, vintage-hunting and jingle-jangling jewellery, the best places to find quality African design and short-girl styling tips.
LIFT your GAME
Thought weightlifting was just for bodybuilders and powerlifters? Not so. In fact, 'lifting heavy shit' may be the secret to longevity, hormone regulation and mood for women through perimenopause and beyond.
TREATMENT PLAN ON YOUR MARKS
Armed with a six-month programme from Dr Nerina Wilkinson + Associates, Jennifer Morin set about tackling her sun damage and melasma.
PLAYING YOUR CARDS RIGHT
Here's how to get the most out of loyalty cards.
BIG SKY Country
Namibia. Twelve friends, five vehicles, 4000 km, thirteen days. Eight punctures, one angle grinder. One martial eagle, one full moon, one ghost town. Plenty of top-quality braais, maybe not quite enough oysters... and the best time ever.
IS YOUR HOME MAKING YOU SICK?
Leaks, damp and poor ventilation in old or poorly built new homes are being fingered for a growing health concern: mould.
HOW TO REALLY GET TO KNOW SOMEONE
The Korean word 'nunchi' describes 'the ability to be sensitive to other people's moods and thoughts'. It's an underrated skill that we seem to have lost.
How to write a memoir
Whether you want to share your experiences and insights with the world, leave a legacy or track pivotal experiences for yourself, writing your memoir can be a grand and worthwhile adventure. Here's some advice on how and where to begin.
