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I can vividly remember the day I terminated a pregnancy at the age of 32. It was March 2000 and I was living in Sydney with my boyfriend, having moved there from the UK when I was 21. I knew with every fibre of my being that I wanted to be a mum yet, when I excitedly found out I was pregnant, my partner had the opposite reaction. ‘I don’t even want to think about kids yet,’ he said, with finality.
Of course, I could have raised the baby alone but, from my own personal experience, I knew how hard it was to have separated parents and I didn’t want my child growing up in those circumstances. Although it was a heartbreaking choice, I decided to end the pregnancy, knowing it was the right thing for me and my partner at that time. In the end though, our relationship didn’t survive and I found myself single at 36 and beginning to feel that time was running out for me to become a mum.
I was one of the only single people in my friendship group, most of whom had at least one child. It didn’t help that I’d started my own business, Maud n Lil Organic Cotton, designing baby products such as comforters and soft toys. Visiting stockists and parenting shows, I couldn’t escape newborns and pregnant women.
I dated other men, but could almost hear my biological clock ticking away as I wondered how early I could bring up the subject of babies. I soon realised that having a baby was my priority, while a relationship could come later.
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