COULD BEING SELFISH BE HEALTHY?

Why putting yourself first can be a good thing

Although often regarded as an undesirable trait, selfishness is associated with not thinking of others. Being selfless, on the other hand, tends to imply that you’re kind, and ready to drop everything to help someone. But is that good for you?

‘One reason we end up bitter and irritable is because we suffer from excessive selflessness,’ says philosopher Alain de Botton. ‘From a young age we are taught we must, wherever possible, think of others. Some of us are so mindful of being selfish, we end up with a manic inability to say no.’

So could being a bit more selfish be helpful to your mental wellbeing? Here’s everything you need to know.

What happens when you’re too ‘good’?

We’re frequently not brave enough to state our needs as clearly as we should. For example, you may need an hour to yourself to do something that seems indulgent, like having a long bath – but instead, you stay quiet and just get on with all the things other people have asked of you. ‘So, you grow ragged, angry, disagreeable and ineffective,’ says Alain.

In fact, caregiving can lead to higher levels of stress hormones, high blood pressure, lowered immunity, depression and other adverse health effects, a US study found. Being too selfless means there’s no time or energy left for yourself, and this can come at the expense of your own self-care.

Know your boundaries