Dealing with ANGER

Can’t tame that temper? Here’s how to get to grips with rage

- FAYE M SMITH

Let it go! ‘Write out your unhelpful thoughts and bin them to help yourself let go,’ says Professor James.

Does the red mist descend over something as trivial as a board game? You’re not alone – 35%* of Brits say they’ve become so riled up playing games that it’s almost led to a split with their partner. Some anger is normal – the problem only starts when you don’t process it properly.

‘We all feel angry at times,’ says Professor Margareta James, a renowned behavioural and mind management expert and consultant. ‘When we feel out of control, anger makes us think we’re in control. But when it rules your life, it robs you of your peace of mind.’

Here’s how to fix it, fast.

Why we get angry

Anger is often due to reading a situation too quickly – and incorrectly. ‘A huge part of anger is jumping to conclusions and acting on these false perceptions in an aggressive manner,’ says Professor James. ‘We all have an inner voice that can be soothing and supportive, but it can also be critical and attacking.’

Which voice you listen to will often depend on your childhood. ‘It’s based on years of learnt behaviour,’ says Professor James. ‘Harmful views directed towards us start to shape our own views.’

Meet our experts…

Professor Margareta James is a psychologist and founding director of the Harley Street Wellbeing Clinic in London

Anne Henderson is a consultant gynaecologist and BMS accredited menopause specialist at gynae-expert.co.uk

Neil Wilkie is a relationship expert, psychotherapist and clinical hypnotherapist (relationshipparadigm.com)