At the front door, the delivery driver handed me a bag full of food from my local Indian takeaway. ‘I’ve got a few friends over,’ I told him, explaining why I’d ordered so much. He just nodded, took my payment and left. But as I closed the door, made my way to my empty kitchen and took a single plate out of the cupboard to pile high with food, I couldn’t help feeling a bit ashamed of myself.
It was 2014 and I was all alone, there were no friends to share the food with. The onion bhajis, naan breads, pilau rice, poppadoms, chicken korma, chicken balti and samosas were all for me and I knew I’d devour every single thing in the bag.
I had always been bigger than everyone else my age, but it was in my late teens and 20s, when I had left home and had a taste of freedom, that I really piled on the weight. I would skip breakfast and instead, at mid-morning, I’d scoff a shop-bought sandwich with crisps and a can of cola. I’d eat a couple more sandwiches and packets of crisps at lunch and then a big chocolate bar, and snack on biscuits before feasting on pizza and chips for dinner.
To hide my expanding waistline, I’d dress in baggy, dark clothing and I had no confidence when it came to relationships. ‘Nobody will be interested in me,’ I’d tell myself. Food was my comfort and I’d eat as a way of burying my feelings.
この記事は WOMAN'S OWN の January 10, 2022 版に掲載されています。
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この記事は WOMAN'S OWN の January 10, 2022 版に掲載されています。
7 日間の Magzter GOLD 無料トライアルを開始して、何千もの厳選されたプレミアム ストーリー、9,000 以上の雑誌や新聞にアクセスしてください。
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