TRADITIONS
Every year, for the past few years, I’ve invested a lot of time and thought into my son Freddy’s ‘Elf on the shelf’. I’ve prided myself on my creative ideas, leaving the elf in a mess of toilet roll, or toothpaste. But being creative is getting tougher, especially when all the ideas are my own. This year, however, I can’t seem to find the little rascal in the loft. It’s literally vanished. After concluding that it really must be magic, I ask my mum to drive over so I can take a late-night dash to Tesco to pick up a new house intruder – and it is rubbed in flour and ‘baking some cookies’ before 7am. The Christmas magic is just about maintained.
THE TREE
Freddy wants a real Christmas tree, an experience that promptly reminds me of my lack of spatial awareness. First, I have to ram it in the car (my little Suzuki Ignis), which is like trying to cram a turkey into a microwave, before I realise it’s even bigger out of the car and fills the best half of the lounge. Of course, lugging a Christmas tree around would be much easier with the help of a partner, but I manage and Freddy is chuffed. He calls our hulk of a tree ‘Bruce the Spruce’. I fear Bruce is already dropping his needles and won’t be great friends with the Hoover in a few weeks!
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