We put ourselves first

Two women explain how making some big decisions changed their lives – and their health – for the better

- KARA O'NEILL

‘I didn’t want to be a fat mother of the bride’

Bernie Heade, 50, is a business support manager and lives in Wallington, Surrey.

Shaking the pasta into the pan, I knew it was way too much. ‘Never mind,’ I thought. But as I glanced down at my stomach bulging in my trousers, I knew another huge vat of pasta wasn't going to help.

In school, I was tall, and slightly heavier than some of the waif-like girls, but never overweight. Only, after my daughter, Lauren, was born in 1994, the weight crept on, and when I split with her father when she was three, I didn’t have time or money to cook from scratch each evening. As a single mum, it was cheaper to do frozen chips and nuggets.

Carbs were my vice, and with every beige meal I’d add buttered bread. Where once I’d been able to slip into a size 12, I found my clothes getting tighter. But I’d just pick the next size until eventually the next size wasn’t in the high street. Shopping wasn’t fun, as I'd get out of breath and had no confidence, so I bought online.

Then, in late 2016, at 22st 7lb and size 24, I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. It ran in the family, but my diet and the strain of the excess weight had probably accelerated its onset. I was prescribed medication, but it wasn’t enough to shock me into action. Then, in December 20 Lauren, then 24, invited me for dinner. ‘We have some news,’ she said, sitting with her boyfriend. ‘We’re engaged!’ I was ecstatic, but as I hugged them, it struck me I’d be a fat mother of the bride.

Finding the motivation