Can A Husband Be His Wife's Best Friend?

Is it Possible?

- Romola Shanbhag

Prafula came to visit just before she left for Kolkata to get married, and as we sat chatting, she remarked candidly:

“Dilip is such a nice guy...I love him a lot, and he’s going to be my best friend.”

After she left, my aunt who had been listening to our conversation, remarked tartly:

“Prafula is foolish to expect her husband to be her best friend! A husband can be a good lover, provider, guardian and helpmate....but best friend? Naah! That girl is in for some disillusionment, I can tell you.”

“Who then qualifies for that role?” I asked her jestingly.

“Another woman, of course,”she retorted instantly.”A woman’s best friend is always another woman...except in very rare cases.”

Well, this is an issue which has been discussed and argued to death by relationship experts, and the jury is still out on the final decision! Seasoned, practical realists like my aunt, though, have firm views on the subject, and I have often seen their views do hold water.

Let’s consider some simple, day-to-day scenarios.

Best friends can talk to each other on every subject, right? And expect a patient, sympathetic hearing?

Honestly, have you ever seen a man and wife have a good healthy conversation together without turning it into an argument? Except in their courting days, of course – when they are at the most amiable and lovey dovey behaviour – they are great at holding diametrically opposite views!

This is not being cynical. It is just that women and men are simply wired differently. The subjects which interest him do not interest her. He likes politics, sports and the vagaries of the stock market, say, and she is dying to talk about the next- door woman who has had a rip-roaring quarrel with her mother-in-law.

And women simply love to talk, most of them, at least. But men are usually neither good talkers nor listeners.