In too deep

Magazines make difficult things look easy. Weight loss, happy marriages, and underwater birding are just three examples that come to mind.

- SEAN THACKWRAY

Even knowing this, I was recently seduced by the yellow-bordered magazine with an article titled: 'He Left Everything And Became Our Nature Photographer of the Year. See, easy! A quick scan of the subtitle - sold his company, left home, went diving around the world and a glance at the accompanying photographs...

Wait a minute, these were taken on the sardine run. Our sardine run. The ambition quickly lodged itself. I'd taken a few photos underwater before, didn't have a company to worry about and it was only a day's drive to the beach. With all this in my favour, how hard could it be? To Nat Geo's credit, the photographs in the article are brilliant. Cape Gannets 10 metres underwater, effervescent bubble trails like reversed nuclear missile launches, sardines packed together just like sardines and the pin-sharp detail on the bird. Even underwater, the Zorro mask and powder-blue eyeliner are truly striking against the bird's golden head feathers. The kind of images a judge could hardly ignore. Oh boy, and then there's the smug look on the bird's face. Sardine dangling from the corner of its mouth, like Churchill with a cigar.