PLANET OF THE APES!

LOCALS GOING BANANAS OVER $396 MILLION MONKEY FARM

RESIDENTS of tiny Bainbridge, Ga., are going ape over plans to house 30,000 lab monkeys in a new $396 million medical research facility operated by a major drug company!

Despite howls of protest, municipal officials approved Safer Human Medicine’s plans to build the center, which will eventually become the largest monkey-breeding facility in the U.S.

Now terrified locals are suing to stop the simian invasion, saying they don’t want their town of just over 14,000 people turned into a wild kingdom. They fear the monkey farm will mean higher taxes — and the animals’ waste could contaminate a nearby river. 

They also worry there could be other major issues if any of the critters escape, spread disease or start reproducing in the wild!