'I always knew motherhood wasn't for me'

With 37% of Brits not wanting children*, author Ruby Warrington discusses why starting a family is not on her agenda and why more women are making the same choice

According to a 2020 YouGov poll, 37% of Brits never want children. And – this might have you choking on your coffee seven out of 10 Gen Zers (those aged 11 to 26) say they’d rather have a pet than be a parent!

Of course, the vast majority (around 80%) of non-parents are what’s called “childless by-circumstance”, meaning they always expected they’d become parents, but things just haven’t worked out.

But for me, at the age of 46, I identify as “childless-by-choice”, having known from an early age that motherhood was not for me. And it’s a decision that has been met with a mixture of disbelief, curiosity and outright contempt.

As I discovered when researching my new book, Women Without Kids, changing attitudes are reflected in UK fertility rates, which have fallen by roughly 17% in the past decade.**

It’s a similar picture in the US, where 50% of women aged 30 and over don’t have children; the first time the scales have tipped into the negative since records began in 1920. With this trend reflected across the globe, the world’s population is predicted to peak in 2064 and 23 nations will see their population shrink by more than half by 2100.

It’s easy to forget that these stats reflect the deeply personal, sometimes controversial and often highly conflicted life choices of millions of individual women. So often, those like me, who don’t become parents, are painted as sad, selfish or somehow dysfunctional. In reality there are many very valid reasons not to be a mum.