FIGHT FAIR

How to stop warring with your partner, according to a relationship therapist

Though the holidays bring joy, they can sometimes bring out the worst in your relationship too, thanks to increased tension and time together. It’s even seen January anecdotally earn the title of “the divorce month”. However, if you found yourself clashing with your SO more than normal during the holiday period, relationship psychotherapist Lissy Abrahams (lissyabrahams.com) says you probably don’t need to call for a divorce.

“Some fights clear the air or release tension, others can even be beneficial for a couple as it may lead to developing new understandings together or resolving more difficult issues,” she explains. “This is very healthy and normal, and is different from unhealthy conflict that is often exhausting, recurring and entrenched in the couple’s relationship dynamics.”

If you feel yourself going head-to-head with your spouse constantly, here’s how to take your relationship out of fight mode.

WHY CAN’T I STOP FIGHTING WITH MY PARTNER?

Firstly, Abrahams explains that fighting is a result of us interpreting our other half’s words or behaviour as unacceptable, disrespectful, or frightening.