PARENT-TEACHER CONFERENCE

Hi, Billy's dad! Andrew, right? Thanks for meeting on such short notice. No, don't worry, this actually isn't about Billy.

- KAREN CHEE

This is about you. Are you O.K.? You see, I can tell when students' parents do their homework for them. Please, it's so obvious!

There's no way that Billy, a seven-year-old, chose "Chicken Soup for the Depressed Man's Soul" for his book report, when let's be honesthe's kind of dumb. I mean, the boy doesn't understand the concept of cows. He keeps calling them "bad dogs." Look, there's been a noticeable decline in Billy's homework over the past few months, which leads me to believe there's some trouble at home.