WITHHOLDING SEX FROM MY WIFE

In the wake of [the] election, progressive women, who are outraged over Donald Trump's victory at the ballot box, have taken to social media with public, vengeful vows of chastity. - The Free Press.

- JOHN KENNEY

SHOUTS & MURMURS

DAY 1: So it begins. Call it a protest if you like. I call it principle. We'll see who cares more about this election. And by election I mean sex. And by sex I mean me withholding it to make a point. That point being...I'm not exactly sure. Maybe that - I can go without sex to prove that I am in support of what my wife is in support of, both politically and also in terms of not wanting to have sex with me much.

DAY 4: Still no sex, which of course is fine by me. That's the plan. Surprised it's been only three days (feels longer?). Is my wife aware of the plan? Hard to say. Last night, I was reading in bed as she entered the room, engaging in our usual foreplay banter. "It would kill you to switch the clothes from the washer to the dryer?" she said. "Seriously?"

I heard what she was saying. But I also heard sexual tension. Or maybe just tension. Come to think of it, it was definitely more annoyance. But I think buried way down under that annoyance (and quite a bit of drawer slamming) was a longing for sex. Which is why I was trying to maintain a look that said, "I am a sexual man but also will not be used for your pleasure, because I have principles, but please know that I will make exceptions."