The Unexpected Way Social Media is Changing Our Sex Lives

UK-based Katrin Tiidenberg and Emily van der Nagel spent years researching people's sexual social media practices, and this is what they learned.

Sex is a normal, healthy part of adult life, right? A pinnacle of connection, if you will. And how do we increasingly connect in the 21st century? Through the websites, mobile apps, and social media platforms.

Social media are cast, variously, as tools, spaces or ways of being social, connecting with other people and maintaining relationships. (On the flipside, they are also cast as having way too much power over our connections, sociality, sociability, and societies). Nearly four billion people globally use social media. Yet, at the intersection of these two connective, social things—sex and social media— an abundance of confusion lies. Sex on social media is complex, contested, and controversial.

Katrin Tiidenberg and I have spent years researching people’s sexual social media practices—we spoke with people about nudes, porn, cybersex, erotica, sexting, private accounts, and having sexy selfies deleted from Instagram. Our book, Sex And Social Media, gives a feminist, sex-positive, academically-informed perspective on people, platforms, and practices—and what all this means for your sex life. Here are five key takeaways from our research about how social media has been affecting our sex lives and the way we perform them online without us even realising it.