When I was growing up, the way I always heard my dad refer to us was Cheyenne. But there was this one time he came to my second-grade class in Oakland. It was during November, so his visit was related to Native American Heritage Month or Thanksgiving. He hadn't told me he was coming; he'd coordinated with my teacher to talk to my class. When he walked into the room, I was so embarrassed, even ashamed. My dad looks phenotypically Native. There's no mistaking what he is when you see him. And there were no other Native kids in the class. My dad came in with arrowheads and an animal hide and other Native items of interest I had never seen at home before. During the presentation, he called us "Native Americans." It sounded weirdly formal. Other than in that one instance, we were only ever Cheyennes. When we drove the three days it took to see family in Oklahoma, it was to visit our Cheyenne relatives. When he prayed for what felt like 20 minutes before dinner, it was-in part-for our Cheyenne relatives.
It's almost unbelievable that we still know our tribes, belong to our tribes, or remember our distinct histories and languages and creation stories, given all that was done to get rid of us, to remove us from our land and from our culture-from life altogether. I think most Native people would prefer to be identified by their tribe. Currently, the generally agreed-upon most appropriate or least offensive name for us is "Native American." But this term also risks reducing us by taking away our diversity and complexity and making us a monolith-just like the term that was first used to refer to us by our colonizers. This is a double bind we find ourselves in.
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