How to Talk to Your Kids About Social Media and Mental Health

Here's what the science really says about teens and screens-and how to start the conversation with young people of any age

- PIA CERES

IF YOU GIVE A KID A SMARTPHONE, THEY’RE GOING TO WANT A SOCIAL MEDIA ACCOUNT.

That’s not the start of a storybook. The average age for a kid getting their first smartphone is 10. Within a year, a child has likely made four or five social media accounts; by the age of 12, 90% of kids are already on social media, according to research by Linda Charmaraman, a senior research scientist who runs the Youth Media and Well-Being Research Lab at Wellesley College.

For parents and caregivers, the decision to let your youngster sign up for TikTok, Instagram, or Snapchat can feel like a daunting milestone. Around the world, lawmakers have been mounting pressure on the likes of Meta and TikTok to restrict the addictive design features that young users are subjected to. But social media can be valuable to young people, too. Digital spaces can be beneficial settings to build friendships and receive social support from peers. So if your kid starts asking about social media (or you suspect that they already have secret accounts), what’s a parent to do?

‘Social media is not inherently good or bad,’ says Charmaraman, whose research focuses on adolescent development and social media. ‘It’s really about how people come to use social media, in what ways, and what kinds of supports they have to navigate it in a way that’s right for them.’

It’s absolutely possible for families to foster a healthy relationship with social media by understanding the science, starting conversations about social media and mental health, and setting boundaries on security settings and screen use. Here’s how to get started, whether your kid is 17 or approaching the age of 10.

WHAT DOES THE RESEARCH REALLY SAY?