COUNT Binface has vowed to nationalise Adele in a last-ditch bid to topple Rishi "Biggles" Sunak from power.
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DARWIN'S EVOLUTION
Reds striker could be key to Kop club's title bid
TAMING A MONSTER
Ruben told by Ruud he will be stunned at club's huge appeal
PLAYING A GYOKER
Amorim has answer to United's scoring riddle at fingertips
BENT WARDERS ON 'INSIDE JOB'
Gangs sneak crims into jails
BLING AND BYE!
Families want pimped-out plots to remember their loved ones
I'm twisting Hollywood's melons man
BEZ FLICK 'SNOW WHITE WITH ZOMBIES'
CHICKEN & EGG RIDDLE IS CRACKED
Boffs: Hens came second
FOOLIN' BAN AT £550 FAN FEST
Strict rules for TV sitcom gathering
Stay-inn boozers drub pub
HOME BARS SURGE
NO FUN HOUSE..
Pat: Show too risky now