WARRING aliens will use "telekinesis" and "gravity-bending" tech to conquer Earth, AI reckons.
Google's chatbot Bard warned we won't stand a chance if hostile E.T.s invade.
It fears our defences will be no match for their devastating lasers and "sophisticated biotech"!
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RUBEN'S SO REVVED UP
United triumphs and tragedy inspire Amorim
RED ROSES CAN FINALLY BLOOM
JAMIE GEORGE has told his England side to get ready for sporting war in today's grudge clash with South Africa.
ROZNER'S ROARING
FRANCE'S Antoine Rozner claimed the halfway lead in the DP World Tour Championship after Rory Mcllroy failed to build on a flying start in Dubai.
LAND A HAYE MAKER
Billam-Smith's out to unify division just like David did
DOOM MONGERS TO DIE YOUNGER
Cynical approach unhealthy
TV Jamie gets egg on his face
'PATRONISING' BOIL GUIDE BLASTED
SPIDERS ARE TOP TERROR
Brits creeped-out by eight-legged critters
Load of rubbish
FURY AT PLAN TO COLLECT BINS EVERY FOUR WEEKS
DAVINAâS BRAIN OP ON TUMOUR
'Star is recovering' after ordeal
All fun of the fur
MUTTS & MOGS ARE KEEPING US ALL HAPPY