Dad, be there for your kid

ROLE: MAKE A POSITIVE CONTRIBUTION IN THEIR MENTAL DEVELOPMENT

- Fikile Poka

Do you have any memories of spending time with your father as a young child? Was your dad, your uncle or your grandfather involved in your life when you were growing up, or was it mainly your mother, grandmother or aunties that took care of you?

If you don’t have any strong memories of your father or male role models during the early years of your life, you are not alone. For most children, their fathers have not been as involved in child raising as mothers have – especially not in the early years.

This is for a number of reasons, including stereotypes that have taught us “men are providers, women are carers”.

However, I believe these traditional, patriarchal views have taught us to be skeptical of men’s roles in young children’s lives and have deprived many of our children of unique God-ordained benefits.

If their fathers had been encouraged to play a more active role in their early childhoods, these benefits would have brought forth great fruit.

Research shows that fathers – or more broadly, male caregivers – have a unique positive contribution to make in a young child’s mental and emotional development, setting them up for additional success as an adult.

When fathers – or male caregivers – are not capable of being positively present, it is a loss for them – and the child – to not be involved in a hands-on way.

From birth to age five, a child’s brain develops more than at any other time in life. During this period, children develop the connections they need to be healthy, capable, successful adults. Dads can play an important part in this process and even where biological fathers can’t be involved, children still need social fathers who can be a positive male influence in their lives.