The 27-year-old Brazilian electrician, who was not carrying a backpack, was on his way to work when two firearms officers fired seven bullets into his head and one into his shoulder after they mistook him for a suicide bomber.
The incident at Stockwell underground station on 22 July 2005 sparked one the biggest crises in British policing, culminating in the Metropolitan Police being fined £560,000 for endangering the public.
Speaking out for the first time in a new documentary ahead of the 20th anniversary of the shooting, the firearms officer known as C12 has admitted he has no intention of ever meeting De Menezesâs family, fearing the emotional impact could âmake my life a bit unbearableâ.
He described the constant worry as like a âweeping soreâ but said the Brazilian manâs family were the real victims.
âIâm suffering in a way, but in no way would I count my suffering as their suffering,â he said. âAt the moment the person that I shot, I canât really remember them, I donât remember any facial features so in a way itâs lessened the potential impact itâs had on me.
âAnd I donât think I would like to open any closets which would make my life a bit unbearable. I know that sounds really, really selfish but thatâs how I feel. I have been brutally honest about why we did what we did. I just hope they are words enough to explain our actions for that day.â
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