We need to ban dogs from pubs - you know I'm right

Why do people feel the need to drag their pooches out to bars and restaurants? Louis Chilton is about to hit the woof

- Louis Chilton

Who let the dogs in? It’s the question the Baha Men never dared to ask. But it’s also a question that has, to a dogless individual like myself, never seemed more pressing. We’ve all seen it, of course: you’ll be at the pub, or perhaps even a restaurant, sitting next to a group of people who’ve decided, for some godforsaken reason, to bring along a dog.

Granting these animals a level of entrée into the human world not even bestowed on Scooby-Doo, these pet owners allow their beloved curs to lounge around, bark over neighbouring conversations, walk over the tables (if they’re small enough), and soak up giddy coos from passers-by, all the while flatulating with abandon.