1 If you must eat food on the Tube, share it.
If you’re going to stink the place up, the law should say that you have to pass the chips around the carriage. That will either stop the selfish maw-stuffers or make it more bearable for everyone else.
2 No beanie hats.
Look, I know you think it gives you a “working man” vibe, allows you to indulge your fantasy that you’re a damaged cop working undercover in Seventies New York. But listen Serpico, you work for a media agency in Hoxton, your dad is a judge and the last time you took public transport was a milk cart from the Soho Farmhouse car park to your “rustic” chalet. The only hats allowed in London are deerstalkers and bowler hats. Period (as your beloved Americans might say).
3 No more new coffee shops.
That’s enough now. We don’t need any more. Particularly in local “village” areas that like to close down popular chicken shops in favour of an artisan coffee micro-brewery called Java, Bitch, which charges £8 for a latte and holds you in contempt because amateurish lattes ruin the tasting notes of the beans. Same goes for delis.
4 Rawdogging mandatory on all public transport. Get off your devices, and talk to each other. This would instantly improve all of our lives by 250 per cent and we all know it. But who’ll do it? Not me, for one. So make it law.
5 Lunch should be two hours.
この記事は The London Standard の October 03, 2024 版に掲載されています。
7 日間の Magzter GOLD 無料トライアルを開始して、何千もの厳選されたプレミアム ストーリー、9,000 以上の雑誌や新聞にアクセスしてください。
すでに購読者です ? サインイン
この記事は The London Standard の October 03, 2024 版に掲載されています。
7 日間の Magzter GOLD 無料トライアルを開始して、何千もの厳選されたプレミアム ストーリー、9,000 以上の雑誌や新聞にアクセスしてください。
すでに購読者です? サインイン
Why are England wasting time waiting for Tuchel?
Winning the World Cup is the aim, so the new boss should start now
He's been shot, and punched by Mike Tyson, but British boxing's great survivor is back on top and aiming to rule the world
This is where the magic happens,\" reads a big neon sign scrawled across the entrance to the offices of arguably the most powerful man in British boxing today.
How Sketch went from 'obscene' to era-defining
After arocky start, the glamorous and infamous restaurant is now an institution
Money is worth less than time'
He's quit Fendi, but what will Kim Jones do next?
London's Roman Amphitheatre
Guildhall Yard, EC2V
Liberals didn't notice they'd lost relevance in the all-consuming digital sphere
There are many reasons why Donald Trump might have won the election last week.
Do we have to die?
One neuroscientist thinks the answer is no
How to have a magical Christmas in Edinburgh
From cosy cobblestone streets to abundant Yuletide goings-on, few cities rival the Scottish capital in creating Christmas whimsy.
London's best festive restaurants
The social season is upon us once more. These are the city’s most coveted Christmas venues, which need to be booked soon so as to not miss out on the tinsel and tipples.
Rag'n'Bone Man
I struggle with being recognised... I'll never really feel comfortable with it'