New guidelines for caregiving boundaries between parents and kids

Do kids have the right to say 'no' to a hug?

- Theresa Tan

It is inappropriate for parents to bathe their child of the opposite gender regularly when he or she can do so independently.

This is in a new set of guidelines by the Ministry of Social and Family Development (MSF) and KidStart, spelling out appropriate boundaries in daily caregiving between parents and children in areas such as expressing affection, privacy and toileting.

For instance, forcing a child to show physical affection to someone he or she is uncomfortable with is also deemed inappropriate.

The authorities came up with the "guidelines on healthy family boundaries" as a tool for professionals in the early childhood, education, social service and health-care sectors, to coach parents on setting healthy boundaries and practices.

KidStart, a non-profit organisation, specialises in supporting families in early childhood development.

According to a presentation by MSF staff at the Asian Family Conference in November, this is the first practitioners' guide in Singapore providing clear recommendations on healthy family boundaries.

Minister of State for Social and Family Development Sun Xueling announced the guidelines on Nov 7 at the conference.

Ms Yogeswari Munisamy, senior principal social worker at the MSF's Child Protective Service, told The Straits Times that a concern is that inappropriate boundaries within families can, in some cases, escalate into abusive behaviour over time.

"The Child Protective Service recognises this risk based on the cases they encounter. When family boundaries become blurred - often unintentionally - it can create situations where children are vulnerable to harm," she said.