As children pass into the teenage phase, things can get a little more difficult. One of the best parts is that they're much more self-aware and independent, but this can also lead to them not thinking you want what's best for them. They can get moody, argue, hide in their room and generally act up. These actions are usually because your teen isn't fully able to express their complex emotions, so they either explode out or they go silent. This sort of behaviour isn't exactly conducive to finding a resolution to the initial problem. Thankfully, there are a few approaches we can try to get through to our teens and to help them get through to us.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND
The very best way you can start off this kind of interaction with your teen is to try your best to truly understand where they're coming from. Their point of view may seem strange or irrational to you, but it's necessary to realise that this is genuinely how they feel about it.
Teenagers often keep parts of their lives to themselves. What's going on at school, drama in the friend group, or stress over assignments can all get bottled up, meaning we don't hear a word about it until it all spills over. Your teen is probably dealing with a lot more than it seems. And everything that they're dealing with may appear to be a lot bigger to them than it does to you. As a result, their priorities might seem way off at times. But understand that there can be more than meets the eye and that they are doing their best to navigate these complex situations.
When it comes to the language to use when communicating about these issues, express that you understand and try not to use negative words like "but". Explain that you see their perspective and that you are willing to help them to figure it out, while also prioritising some of the things you deem to be more important. This way they feel supported and you are also able to steer them onto a better path.
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