"How I learnt to love my lying, dying husband
Australian Women’s Weekly NZ|April 2024
After a runaway wedding, Kerstin Pilz's delirious romantic bliss was shattered when her new husband was diagnosed with cancer, and she discovered he'd been cheating on her.
"How I learnt to love my lying, dying husband

Raiding my husband's inbox had been a very bad idea. This thought was on repeat in my head as I sat opposite a senior monk in mustard robes, mesmerised by his ability to sit in full lotus.

He wanted me to focus on my breath. "Watch it rise and fall," he said. It sounded easy, but my mind kept returning to the moment that changed everything. The moment I pressed enter on my husband's inbox, triggering a nuclear explosion in my heart.

That was when I learned my terminally ill husband, Gianni, had been a serially unfaithful philanderer for most of our marriage. Reading through his inbox I felt physically sick. Shortly after our wedding, he'd returned to his hometown, Rome, to visit his elderly mother, and, unbeknown to me, a handful of longstanding lovers. Once he'd resumed his old ways, as I was discovering, there was no stopping him.

I never thought I'd turn to a monk for advice, but after two complimentary counselling sessions at the hospital where Gianni was undergoing radiation treatment to shrink the golf ball-sized tumour in his brain, I knew therapy would take too long. I needed a crash course in forgiveness.

Time was running out and I had to choose. Stay and care for my lying, dying, cheating spouse? Or leave him when he was at his most vulnerable? What would I regret more? What would serve us both? Buddhists are supposed to be experts at such things, so I figured a 10-day silent meditation retreat at a monastery in Thailand was my best option. Living alongside real monks, I'd become spiritually awakened through absorption, keeping my heart open when it was broken.

The therapist at the hospital didn't think this was a good idea, offering antidepressants instead. But I didn't want drugs.

I'd already tried self-medicating with wine, but it only made me feel worse. I needed to be awake to figure this out and I needed new tools. So, I booked a ticket to Thailand.

この蚘事は Australian Women’s Weekly NZ の April 2024 版に掲茉されおいたす。

7 日間の Magzter GOLD 無料トラむアルを開始しお、䜕千もの厳遞されたプレミアム ストヌリヌ、9,000 以䞊の雑誌や新聞にアクセスしおください。

この蚘事は Australian Women’s Weekly NZ の April 2024 版に掲茉されおいたす。

7 日間の Magzter GOLD 無料トラむアルを開始しお、䜕千もの厳遞されたプレミアム ストヌリヌ、9,000 以䞊の雑誌や新聞にアクセスしおください。

AUSTRALIAN WOMEN’S WEEKLY NZのその他の蚘事すべお衚瀺
PRETTY WOMAN
Australian Women’s Weekly NZ

PRETTY WOMAN

Dial up the joy with a mood-boosting self-care session done in the privacy of your own home. It’s a blissful way to banish the winter blues.

time-read
3 分  |
July 2024
Hitting a nerve
Australian Women’s Weekly NZ

Hitting a nerve

Regulating the vagus nerve with its links to depression, anxiety, arthritis and diabetes could aid physical and mental wellbeing.

time-read
5 分  |
July 2024
The unseen Rovals
Australian Women’s Weekly NZ

The unseen Rovals

Candid, behind the scenes and neverbefore-seen images of the royal family have been released for a new exhibition.

time-read
2 分  |
July 2024
Great read
Australian Women’s Weekly NZ

Great read

In novels and life - there's power in the words left unsaid.

time-read
2 分  |
July 2024
Winter dinner winners
Australian Women’s Weekly NZ

Winter dinner winners

Looking for some thrifty inspiration for weeknight dinners? Try our tasty line-up of budget-concious recipes that are bound to please everyone at the table.

time-read
3 分  |
July 2024
Winter baking with apples and pears
Australian Women’s Weekly NZ

Winter baking with apples and pears

Celebrate the season of apples and pears with these sweet bakes that will keep the cold weather blues away.

time-read
7 分  |
July 2024
The wines and lines mums
Australian Women’s Weekly NZ

The wines and lines mums

Once only associated with glamorous A-listers, cocaine is now prevalent with the soccer-mum set - as likely to be imbibed at a school fundraiser as a nightclub. The Weekly looks inside this illegal, addictive, rising trend.

time-read
10+ 分  |
July 2024
Former ballerina'sBATTLE with BODY IMAGE
Australian Women’s Weekly NZ

Former ballerina'sBATTLE with BODY IMAGE

Auckland author Sacha Jones reveals how dancing led her to develop an eating disorder and why she's now on a mission to educate other women.

time-read
7 分  |
July 2024
MEET RUSSIA'S BRAVEST WOMEN
Australian Women’s Weekly NZ

MEET RUSSIA'S BRAVEST WOMEN

When Alexei Navalny died in a brutal Arctic prison, Vladimir Putin thought he had triumphed over his most formidable opponent. Until three courageous women - Alexei's mother, wife and daughter - took up his fight for freedom.

time-read
8 分  |
July 2024
IT'S NEVER TOO LATE TO START
Australian Women’s Weekly NZ

IT'S NEVER TOO LATE TO START

Responsible for keeping the likes of Jane Fonda and Jamie Lee Curtis in shape, Malin Svensson is on a mission to motivate those in midlife to move more.

time-read
5 分  |
July 2024