Monkey Business

Chris's friendly joke falls flat due to a wardrobe malfunction

- Chris Pascoe

When I was younger, as in younger than 50, I never used to worry where public toilets were located. Now I have a public toilet locator app on my phone.

Living in an area where there are a lot of elderly people, this app has gone viral and, not surprisingly, I heard about it through word of mouth - four times, in fact, twice from the same person. It's a wonderful thing (look at me getting excited about finding ---toilets!) and the app is particularly handy for people like me who walk about in a daydream and can never remember where they saw anything, like a loo, or where they were when they can't remember what they saw.

If I was ever asked by police to provide a witness statement, I'm pretty sure they'd have me up for "wasting police time".