Taking The Plunge

Redundancy had meant some tough decisions - but could she really have her cake and eat it?

- JO THOMAS

Pearl stood staring out at the rolling waves, the wind in her face, salt on her lips. She had no idea why she'd said she'd do it in the first place. In fact, she had no idea why she was here at all. It had all been a rash decision, if she was honest. And now, she was certain it was a terrible mistake.

The waves rolled in, reaching as far as her toes, which were freezing in flip flops, despite the promise of a warm sunny day ahead behind the early morning clouds. Seagulls squawked overhead as if laughing at her. The seagulls were right. What was she thinking of? This was a dreadful idea.

She took a final look at the bay nestled into the rocky outcrops. It was beautiful. But not beautiful enough to be swimming in at this hour in the morning, or any hour. Somehow, as a youngster it never felt cold. But years on, it felt freezing!

She took a final deep breath, filling her lungs with the fresh, salty sea air before leaving. Standing there, in her towelling dressing gown, with nothing but her swimming costume underneath, just felt ridiculous, frankly-exposed, scared. What had she been thinking about?

I had all been a moment of madness; thinking she was moving on when really what she had been trying to do was recapture her past. And the past, she realised as the crows swept and swooped and teased behind her, is exactly that behind her.

If only she hadn't told everyone that that's what she was going to do. Posted it on Facebook! She was going to mark the big day with an early morning sea swim! Her new life in early retirement! Why couldn't she have just kept her mouth shut?

It'd always been the same. Speaking without thinking first.