Out Of Sight

When it came to fine print, Ernestine's reading glasses seemed the only solution ...

- EIRIN THOMPSON

I THINK they make you look intelligent," Ginny remarked.

"I am intelligent!" Ernestine snapped. "Are you saying I looked like some sort of mug before?"

"Of course not. But lots of people our age need reading glasses - it's no big deal." But it was a big deal for Ernestine.

When she put them on, she was not happy with what she saw in the mirror.

She was quite clear about what she didn't like in this world: young men who fitted exhausts the width of chimney flues to their cars before racing up and down the street, people who called her "Ernie", and wearing glasses.

All three were terrible. Just terrible.

It was bad enough wearing them at home, where no-one else could see her.

Worse still was going into her work at the bank for the first time, where everybody was bound to notice and have something to say.

To Ernestine's surprise, she drew no comments for the first hour.

Then Danielle, her young colleague, passed by her desk.

"I love your specs, Ernestine. Where did you get them?"

None of the men uttered a word about them, but Ernestine had to admit that she'd possibly earned herself the reputation of being a bit fierce towards  the opposite sex.

Ernestine conceded inwardly that dealing with documents was much easier than it had been before, now that she was wearing glasses.

She was just coming round to the idea of them when a small child's voice came shrilly across the counter at her.

"Mummy, look! Doesn't that lady look like Granny?" the child exclaimed.

Glancing up automatically, Ernestine saw, to her horror, that the child's finger was pointing straight at her!

Ernestine was a bit of a grouch for the rest of the morning. Then she had an idea.

On her lunch break, she returned to the optician's.

"I'm not a spectacles wearer," she explained to the young assistant. "Not a real one. I just need mine for fine print, you understand.