FAMILY secrets

Two women reveal shocking truths about their past

'I FEARED OTHERS WOULD SEE ME AS A FRAUD'

Rachel Watkyn OBE, 52, lives with her husband, Steve, in Crowborough, East Sussex, and has three grown-up stepchildren.

As my father lay dying, he told me about a box of secrets hidden under his bed that would answer any questions I may have about my past. What I found inside changed my life forever.

I was brought up believing my father was an aristocrat, part of the noble German Gaisberg family. Despite my father's heritage, my two half-sisters and I lived in squalor. The farmhouse was freezing and filthy - dirty pots were piled outside the back door, we were constantly hungry and our clothes consisted of a huge pile of dirty washing, smelling of mould and urine. My parents declared that only the 'nouveau riche' cared about such things: that other people were 'peasants'.

When we broke the rules, punishment followed swiftly. There was no affection, and displays of emotion were banned.

We had no reason not to believe we were aristocrats.

The family crest was on the wall and, when I was nine, we moved into a huge Suffolk mansion, complete with a minstrel's gallery. It had no heating, leaked water and was a pigsty, but it fitted the bill.

Feeling embarrassed

We were in touch with our noble German relatives, and even visited their huge, servant-filled castle. It was excruciatingly embarrassing, as I didn't have ball gowns like they wore to dinner, or even a decent pair of shoes. They were kind and found me things to wear, but even as a child I knew we didn't fit in.

In my mid-teens, it all fell apart. Dad was made bankrupt - he'd been getting by on the occasional odd job, broken promises and borrowed money for renovation schemes that never materialised. I was thrown out of boarding school, as the fees hadn't been paid for a year, and we had to leave the mansion.