Even on stressful days when I’m rushing around the house after my five kids, I’m so thankful for the life I have now. Sunny beach holidays, dinners in fancy restaurants, designer clothes and expensive cars are part of our every day, but they were things I could only have dreamt about when I was growing up. Back then, just having a warm meal was something of a luxury.
In 1986, when I was four, my dad died while serving as a Naval officer. Between dealing with her grief and the pressures of being a single parent, my mum struggled with her mental health. She remarried two years later, but the relationship was unhappy. By the time I was eight, my little brother and sister had been born, and our family home was a hectic mix of shouting adults and screaming babies.
I took on the majority of responsibility for my siblings while my mum was at work. She would rant to me about all her problems, once even telling me not to expect her at the school gates as she was planning to end her life. I was terrified and so relieved that she didn’t go through with it, but over the years she made multiple suicide attempts. As a child it was difficult to really process what was going on, but I found myself forced to grow up quickly.
Dodging bailiffs
We never had much money, and meals mainly consisted of whatever I could throw together from the food left in the cupboard. When I turned 15 in 1997, while other girls at school were busy obsessing over the boy they fancied or the next episode of Byker Grove, I was worrying about bailiffs and trying to keep my siblings quiet as we cowered behind the sofa when they knocked on the door.
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