I drank 18 cans of cola A DAY!

Grieving, Zoe Podesta turned to fizzy drinks and unhealthy eating for comfort

Everyone copes with grief differently. Some people surround themselves with loved ones, others prefer to deal with it alone, some turn  to religion, or therapy. For me, the answer was sugar. After losing my brother in 2017, comfort eating was the only way to numb those feelings of pain and momentarily feel a bit of release.

I’d been lying in bed one night when I heard my phone ringing. It was my mum, telling me she was outside.

I tiptoed downstairs, careful not to wake my two kids, Jack, then six and Izzy, four. The moment I opened the door to my mum, Wendy, then 53, I knew something terrible had happened. She was ashen faced and told me to sit down. Then she proceeded to tell me that my younger brother, Jake, 26, had passed away in a tragic, freak accident.

He'd been driving to work on his motorbike when a rotten tree fell on top of him. The impact broke his neck and he'd suffered a massive heart attack. He'd died at the scene that morning. Mum had tried to process the news herself, before coming to tell me.

I fell to the floor in horror. With just a year between us, Jake and I were called 'the twins' growing up. We had the same dark features and the same sense of fun. I'd always said we were soul mates.

Mum helped me up and I felt my partner, Richard, 36, pull me close as I sobbed.

 A way of coping

The next months went by in a painful blur of firsts. Our first Christmas without Jake. The kids' birthdays, the first without their fun, energetic uncle.

Consumed by grief, I'd gorge on sharing bags of chocolate, cheesecake and crisps, washed down with endless pints of full-fat cola. It'd been my go to for years in times of crisis. Jack had been diagnosed with autism when he was three and looking after him was rewarding, but stressful.