MUMS ON A MISSION

After suffering a devastating loss, Kim McCarthy, 55, teamed up with other mums to remember their beloved sons

- JOHANNA BELL, MATT BARBOUR

Rocking my son in my arms as he wept, both sadness and relief engulfed me. 'It's going to be OK', I promised him. It was 2010, and Hayden, then 12, had been diagnosed with bipolar disorder.

In 2002, when Hayden was five, his father Dave, 33, died by suicide. Dave had bipolar, so I knew the signs. Hayden showed them all - mood swings and big highs followed by extreme lows. I'd started homeschooling him, but it wasn't until Hayden attempted suicide at the age of 12 that the doctors took me seriously.

I'm scared, Mum,' he said, the day he was diagnosed.

'I know, sweetheart. But now we can get you the help you need,' I reassured him.

With the right medication, I knew Hayden could have the happy life he deserved; and, to my relief, within a few months he'd settled back at school. He'd come home smiling, joking that he didn't have any homework, just to get out of doing it. He'd been so cheeky as a youngster, and I loved seeing that side shining through again. Family life with my new husband Kevin, then 50, Hayden and his siblings Perry, then 23, Rachael, 18, and Jamie, 16 - was hectic but fun.

Shortly after Hayden finished school at 16, he told me he wanted to stop taking his meds. 'Please don't,' I begged. He was doing so well, and I wanted it to continue.

'I feel fine, Mum,' he said. 'I don't need them now.'

His mind was made up, and so I told Kevin, who had a close relationship with Hayden, I'd keep a close eye on him. Hayden seemed to cope, though, and eventually trained as a manager at the pub where Kevin and I worked. Hayden loved it, and his fun side really came out.