How to calm the critic in your head... and snag some serious self compassion.
You got a C on the paper you thought you had aced. “Ugh, you’re so stupid.” Then you took an embarrassing stumble during your cheer competition. “You ruined it for the whole team.” And your #OOTD only got 78 likes, compared to your friend’s 126. “Why can’t you be as stylish as her?”
No, that’s not a real-life Regina George talking—that’s your inner mean girl. And if she’s turned your brain into a burn book of hurtful insults and critical comments, it’s time to pull a Cady Heron and squash that critical voice for good. How? It’s all about self-compassion.
Yep, the buzzy wellness word is having a major moment RN—and it basically just means being kinder to yourself.
“Self-compassion allows you to love your true self—your authentic, beautiful, unique and sometimes ‘messy’ self,” explains Jaime Pfeffer, a compassion expert, author and life balancing coach. “It allows you to make mistakes, be creative and boost your self-esteem.”
And just to be clear, self-compassion does not translate to being selfish— because when you learn to embrace your flaws, you’ll actually become a better friend and overall person, too. As Pfeffer explains, the more love you have for yourself, the more you’ll have to give to everyone around you.
To mitigate your own inner mean girl, incorporate one (or all!) of these self-compassion strategies. Brain bully begone…
BUILD BOUNDARIES
A big part of respecting and loving yourself is knowing your limits in every area of your life, from your social sched to your extracurrics—because when you extend yourself too far trying to do all the things, it’s easy to wind up feeling stressed (and even sad) when those feelings of failure begin to pop up.
Denne historien er fra February/March 2019-utgaven av Girls' Life magazine.
Start din 7-dagers gratis prøveperiode på Magzter GOLD for å få tilgang til tusenvis av utvalgte premiumhistorier og 9000+ magasiner og aviser.
Allerede abonnent ? Logg på
Denne historien er fra February/March 2019-utgaven av Girls' Life magazine.
Start din 7-dagers gratis prøveperiode på Magzter GOLD for å få tilgang til tusenvis av utvalgte premiumhistorier og 9000+ magasiner og aviser.
Allerede abonnent? Logg på
Now loading: Meditation mode
Haven't tried it yet? Here's your start-this-second strategy to find your center, no matter the strom.
Spread some cheer (here and there and everywhere)
You know that girl who's always bringing the holiday hype? Oh wait...that's you!
How to eat more vegetables (even if you truly hate them)
GOING DAYS—OR EVEN, YIKES, WEEKS—WITHOUT A SINGLE GREEN? THIS ONE’S FOR YOU.
THIS IS THE YEAR YOU CHANGE THE WORLD
It's exciting to be a part of the generation people say will transform the future.
NEW YEAR'S resolutions officially OUT
What's in, you ask? New Year's intentions, aka the strategy that'll *actually* make all your end-of-December dreams come true.
"Ugh! My family is so...
OK. we're just going to say it: It's valid to sometimes get furiously frustrated and downright disappointed with your nearest and dearest. (Take that as permission to feel *all* your feels rn.) Our gift to you? Breaking down these daunting holiday dynamics so you can get back to being a fa-la-la family again.
Dear Carol
CRUSHING ON A POPULAR BOY There is this boy I've been crushing on.
YOUR 2025 CONFIDENCE GLOW-UP
Sure, you could whisper some mantras, ask your besties to gas you up and listen to \"Bejeweled\" on repeat...or you could try these simple (but srsly effective) hacks for making 2025 your most confident era yet.
GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK
Hunter L., 16, is really tired. Not the kind of tired when you stay up scrolling on TikTok, but tired of, well, being a teenager.
READ THIS before you hard launch
You and your crush are one what-are-we convo away from making it official...except for that one thing.
