‘PMT led me to set my house on fire with Mum inside'

Nikki J Owen used to suffer such severe PMT she torched her home twice and tried to kill her mother. Now she devotes her life to helping others heal

- SUSANNA GALTON

Standing in the dock at the Old Bailey I felt like I was having an out-of-body experience listening to the judge as he charged me with arson, endangering life and intent to kill my mother. It was 22 December 1978, and I was 18.

I was taken to a small, dark cell with just a mattress at Holloway Prison, wearing a dress made from indestructible material so I couldn’t hang myself. Twice a day I was fed through a hatch in the door because I was deemed “too dangerous” for the wardens to enter my cell. I stopped being Nicola Jane Owen and became “Prisoner DO2572”.

Today, this seems incredulous. I’d had an idyllic childhood raised by Pam, a stay-at-home mum, and Ed, my accountant dad. I was a child model and talented dancer, winning many competitions. My younger sister Sally was a gifted musician and my little brother Johnnie was sporty and ambitious. We all went to private school and had a lovely home in Bexley, Kent.

But when I hit puberty my moods dramatically blackened, and I began self-harming. Using my dad’s razor I cut off my eyelashes, eyebrows, shaved my head and slashed my face.

My weight ballooned from 8½st to 14st from bingeing on big mixing bowls filled to the brim with Rice Krispies, milk and loads of sugar. It was as if I hated myself and wanted to make myself as ugly as possible. I threw things and smashed plates in volatile rages. When Mum tried to stop me once, I even chased her around the kitchen with a knife.