Perfect Intention

Bokang and Thabo are ideal together, but she wants more . . .

- Agnes Kimberley

I BIT down hard on my lower lip. I always did that when I was anxious and worried about something. It wasn’t our first quarrel, not by a long shot, but it was most definitely the worst one that I could recall.

I blinked hard to stop the tears from falling. You’re not going to fall apart I told myself. “There’s no perfect match, only perfect intentions.” I’d heard that on the Dr Phil show. Perhaps up to now everything had been okay in my life.

I’d watched the marriages of family and friends fall apart, but somehow or other Thabo and I had survived.

I knew I was lucky in that way. I had never taken him for granted but despite my misgivings, I knew he had always known I’d be there for him.

I knew people thought I was oldfashioned. I believed in giving everything of myself to my husband. In all the years I’d been married, I’d never looked at another man, never wanted to.

I loved Thabo and he loved me. It was as simple as that but of course nothing is ever that simple in life. It seems love isn’t enough to survive a marriage these days.

“I know he loves me. He would do anything for us: the girls, Kalushi, me.” I hesitated for a moment. “But . . .”

“There’s always a but.” Lerato, my best friend, eyed me over the rim of her coffee mug.

“It seems silly when I say it out loud. I have everything I need. We don’t want for anything but . . .”

We both smiled at that. I got up to refill our coffee mugs to give myself some time to think.