Money Talks

Discussing finances with friends, family and co-workers is a minefield, but if done right, it benefits everyone.

- Prajakta Dhopade

A FEW YEARS AGO, Hannah Meyer* was working at a packaging company in accounts payable when she received an email in error—one that disclosed the salary of a co-worker who had just joined the team. Despite having far more experience than him when she was first hired three years earlier, the then 42-year-old had been offered much less and was only recently earning around the same amount.

“I felt slighted, embarrassed and hurt,” says Meyer. “But because it was sent to me in error, I didn’t talk about it.” In the weeks that followed, her resentment towards the new hire grew, but she had difficulty imagining how she could raise the issue with their boss.

Meyer’s reluctance to speak up about this dilemma is a common reaction to discussing financial matters: just don’t do it. Ever. In fact, according to a 2015 Ipsos Reid poll, 51 percent of Canadians said they actually lie to their family, friends, and co-workers about their financial situation. That’s unfortunate because in many cases, opening up about what’s in your wallet can save you from heartache, awkwardness and estate problems. Here are some tips on how to broach the topic.

BE UP FRONT

For most people, that number in their bank balance doesn’t just describe their finances, but also their self-worth. This can make opening up about money difficult, even with lifelong friends.

According to Shannon Lee Simmons, author of Worry-Free Money, awkwardness can often arise when a pal plans an expensive group activity, such as a vacation or milestone birthday party. “You don’t want to be the one person who’s saying, ‘I’m not making enough money to do this,’” says Simmons. “But you also don’t want to hurt that person’s feelings by not going.”