The Dark Side Of Self Care
Cosmopolitan UK|May 2018

More of us than ever are travelling in search of enlightenment, but do we really know what we’re getting into? KATE GRAHAM investigates what happens when retreats go rogue...

Kate Graham
The Dark Side Of Self Care

The soaring sandstone cliffs of Sedona in Arizona are magical. When the morning rays hit the towering rock formations at just the right angle, they seem to catch fire, flickering

from red to ochre, orange to umber. Little wonder, then, that thousands of devotees come to this city every year in search of spiritual enlightenment, lured by the dozens of centres and retreats that have sprung up over the past 10 years. New Yorker Kirby Brown, 38, was one of them. She came for a retreat she hoped might unlock her potential as an entrepreneur. By the time that retreat was over, 18 people were in hospital and three, including Kirby, were dead.

“We called her Hurricane Kirby. She was drunk on life,” says her mother, Ginny Brown. An adventurous spirit, Kirby loved to climb, cycle and surf, always grabbing opportunities with both hands. So, when she wanted to take her painting business to the next level, she went all in, blowing her life savings on a five-day motivational retreat led by the charismatic James Arthur Ray. The millionaire guru promised to help her and more than 50 others “push past their self-imposed borders” to better their lives.

What that involved was foregoing sleep for a 36-hour food-and-drink fast and shaving off all her hair. Finally, in the stifling heat of the Arizona desert, she entered a crowded ‘sweat lodge’ made of wood, plastic and blankets. As the temperatures soared, people started vomiting, but they were told to stay and push through the pain. They were told it would feel like they were dying. Two hours later, Kirby died from acute heat stroke.

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