DIVORCED BY THE HOUR

Calling it quits on a marriage can take a wrecking ball to any lifestyle, but is especially devastating to women who have entrusted the family finances to a spouse who turns toxic. Communication is a chance to avoid costly conflict, learns Kirstie Clements.

When I was growing up, the women in my family were a practical lot. My mother married three times: at the age of 18, she fled a husband who was too controlling; she then married my father, who died young and left her with two children under the age of eight; and her third husband was an alcoholic and a gambler whom she later divorced. My aunt had similar experiences with her three husbands, one of whom had numerous affairs. So the conversations I had with my female role models when I was young were never about dream weddings but about financial independence. My mother’s mantra became: “Make sure the house is in your name.”

Current statistics suggest one in three marriages in Australia will end in divorce, and this period always sees a spike in splits thanks to Christmas’s excesses, expense and exposure to in-laws, together with New Year’s spirit of fresh starts. Unfortunately, when marriages sour, many women who have allowed their spouses to take charge of the household finances can find themselves cut off without a cent, and/ or faced with the spectre of legal fees they cannot afford to pay. The financial implications, coupled with the attendant emotional distress, especially when there are children involved, can be enormous.