When I birthed my daughter, I didn’t just witness a miracle, I actively participated in it. A few hours after producing the girl with the loudest cry in the nursery, I ate a big dinner, had a shower, and watched father and daughter begin their relationship with a song. None of us remember what he sang, all we know is that she stopped crying.
I had trusted the body’s wisdom to see me through the pregnancy. So when signs of postpartum depression began to surface, I, despite all the awareness of this phenomenon, ignored it. Studies show that a mother’s brain undergoes many changes after birthing. The OCD part of the brain lights up when she hears her child cry. Her body is so attuned to the baby’s needs, she often pre-empts it, suffering from anxiety and insomnia in the process. Sleep deprivation, along with conflicting hormones, led me to slip.
GIVING IN
I initially kept the darkness to myself. I felt guilty. I had internalised that good intentioned voice that counsels us, reminding us of all the love and luck that surrounds us, furthering the guilt. I felt isolated, especially in the silent nights spent in the company of an inexplicable creature that may have come out of you, yet bawls for reasons beyond you. My partner complained to the doctor that I would breastfeed for hours. Maybe the child needs emotional comfort, the doctor said. Maybe the mother does, I replied.
Denne historien er fra September 2020-utgaven av VOGUE India.
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Denne historien er fra September 2020-utgaven av VOGUE India.
Start din 7-dagers gratis prøveperiode på Magzter GOLD for å få tilgang til tusenvis av utvalgte premiumhistorier og 9000+ magasiner og aviser.
Allerede abonnent? Logg på
Breathe In, Breathe Out
A powerful tool to help you master your nervous system or another biohacking buzzword? SIMONE DHONDY explores the inhalations and exhalations of breathwork
Red Pill, Blue Pill
India's nutraceutical industry is booming thanks to advanced technology, distrust of the medical system and rising vanity. With multivitamins becoming purer and more effective, NIDHI GUPTA finds out if supplements have become the new serum
Sign of the times
No longer do you need to have an answer to, \"What is the significance of this?\" when people point to your new tattoo. ARMAN KHAN discovers that everything is on the table when you get inked temporarily
Return to form
Watching the world's most elite athletes deliver the best performances of their careers rekindled SONAKSHI SHARMA's own love for sports
Dimple, All Day
YOU MAY HAVE WATCHED HER ON THE BIG SCREEN FOR OVER FIVE DECADES, BUT DON'T MAKE THE MISTAKE OF ASSUMING THAT YOU KNOW DIMPLE KAPADIA.
MUSIC, TAKE CONTROL
As someone who had always sought safety in numbers, ALIZA FATMA often wondered what her own company would feel like. The answer arrived unexpectedly when she attended her first-ever music festival, one of the largest in the world, all alone
Let it grow
When we think of hardworking farmers toiling in India's scorching heat, we often think of men, the sweat on their brow, the sinews in their arms. JYOTI KUMARI speaks to four women who are championing the invisible female labour that keeps these fields running
YOU'LL NEVER WALK ALONE
When armless archer Sheetal Devi set her sights on the Paralympic Games this year, she knew she had a tough journey ahead of her. Luckily, her mother was with her every step of the way.
Beauty and the feast
The appeal of Indian weddings has always been in a sprawling spread. For additional bragging rights, Aditi Dugar recommends going beyond designer tablecloths and monogrammed napkins.
Sweet serendipity
From a scavenger hunt-inspired proposal to a Moroccan-themed baraat, Malvika Raj and Armaan Rai's love story prioritised playfulness throughout their blended celebrations.