Good Intentions

Psychotherapist Jamie Rayer Keet unpacks why resolution-setting may not be the most effective way to put your best foot forward for the new year and what experts suggest you do instead.

- Jamie Rayer Keet

It is that cycle-marking time of year. Like most, you may be taking an inventory of your life: deciding what to take with you, what to let go of, where you're going and maybe even who you're becoming. As you get ready to jot your New Year's resolutions down in your diary, ask yourself: are they really going to help you make transformative change?

New Year's resolutions originated over four millennia ago as a form of barter trade among the Babylonians. At the beginning of each year, they would make promises to their gods to repay their debts and return any borrowed objects in exchange for a blessed crop and good favour. The deal was clear and it was a pretty good bargain.

Early Christians then evolved resolution-setting into an occasion for contemplating about one's past mistakes and resolving to do better. It may have looked good on papyrus, but it was certainly less gratifying.

Now, we make resolutions only to ourselves. These are usually stringent verbal contracts focused on self-improvement with no external rewards whatsoever. It may explain why resolutions are so easy to make and infamously difficult to keep or, in some cases, even remember.

As a psychotherapist, I've seen clients set big, sweeping resolutions countless times, only to suffer burnout and give up within the first month. One of the main issues with resolutions is that they are often vague and unrealistic, sometimes made on a whim and mostly revolving around gigantic changes that seem desirable but are often too nebulous to achieve.

This year, consider a different form of making change in your life. Oprah Winfrey does it. Deepak Chopra believes in it. Andrew Huberman raves about it. What exactly is the superpower of intention-setting?

Finding Your 'WHY'