A scientific-ish analysis of one man’s social circle.
BY RICHARD DORMENT
THERE IS SOMETHING a little sad about a 40-year-old man spending the better part of a summer trying to figure out if he has any friends. Fine: it’s a lot sad, but a few months ago, after my social-media feeds started filling up with posts on a crisis in men’s friendship – men have no friends; men are dying of loneliness; we can’t even do friendship right! – I looked in the mirror and asked some hard questions. Do I have any real friends? Would I be happier with more friends? And wait – is this really what I look like now?So I did what any rational person would do. I interviewed 12 sociologists, psychiatrists, linguists and anthropologists about what it actually means to have and be a friend today. I read hundreds of pages of studies on how guys build and maintain friendships. Then I conducted my very own survey about what kind of friend I am. I randomly selected about 70 people from my contact list, sent them ten multiple-choice questions (thanks, Survey Monkey!), and promised them total anonymity in exchange for some brutally honest feedback. I started with a simple question – “Do you consider me a friend?” – and went deeper from there. The results helped me understand not just the state of my own friendships but also what people get wrong (and right) about Male Friendship™. According to my own research and the work of others, turns out that most men do have friends – we’re just used to doing friendship in our own imperfect way. And as with everything else in our lives, we could probably benefit from getting better at it. Herewith, a few of my highly unscientific findings.
“Do you consider me a friend?”
Denne historien er fra April 2020-utgaven av Men's Health South Africa.
Start din 7-dagers gratis prøveperiode på Magzter GOLD for å få tilgang til tusenvis av utvalgte premiumhistorier og 9000+ magasiner og aviser.
Allerede abonnent ? Logg på
Denne historien er fra April 2020-utgaven av Men's Health South Africa.
Start din 7-dagers gratis prøveperiode på Magzter GOLD for å få tilgang til tusenvis av utvalgte premiumhistorier og 9000+ magasiner og aviser.
Allerede abonnent? Logg på
The Last 7 Recipe You'll Ever Need
FADS COME AND GO. BUT GOOD EATING AND PROPER NUTRITION CHANGES VERY LITTLE. SO WE COMBED THROUGH ALL THE RECIPES IN MEN'S HEALTH'S 36-YEAR HISTORY TO FIND THE ONES THAT TRULY DELIVER ON BOTH FLAVOUR AND FUNCTION.
The Changing Face Of Cancer
While cancer rates are falling in older adults, they're increasing among younger age groups. It's a trend exposing holes in both diagnosis and care. It's also raised a new question for experts: how do you get vital and potentially life-saving information to people unaware they need it?
AROUND THE WORLD IN 80 ADVENTURES
YOUR TIME OFF IS VALUABLE. TO BOOK YET ANOTHER FLY 'N' FLOP IS TO DO YOURSELF A DISSERVICE. THIS YEAR, BREAK FREE FROM THE POOLSIDE BAR AND GET YOUR KICKS IN THE GREAT OUTDOORS. FROM EXPEDITIONS IN FAR-FLUNG PLACES TO HIGH-OCTANE WEEKENDS CLOSER TO HOME, CONSIDER THESE YOUR FIRST STEPS OFF THE BEATEN TRACK.
4 WAYS TO REBOOT YOUR MINDSET
STRESSED ABOUT THE STATE OF THE WORLD AND/OR YOUR SANITY? WE'VE GOT FOUR SIMPLE BUT ESSENTIAL TOOLS TO HELP YOU ADAPT AND OVERCOME, THIS YEAR AND BEYOND.
TRAIN TO YOUR MAX
Cardiorespiratory fitness is one of the most important health markers when it comes to your overall wellbeing. Here's how Discovery Vitality Fitness gives you more ways than ever to fire up your engine.
SLUSH FUN
FROZEN DAIQUIRIS ARE REFRESHI AND ALSO SICKENINGLY SWEET. TRY A FROZEN PIMM'S CUP, WHICH HAS ALL THE FLAVOURS WITH WAY LESS SUGAR.
THE HEALTH SNOB'S GUIDE TO COLD-BREW COFFEE
BOTTLED COFFEE MIGHT BE ABUNDANT, BUT CAFFEINE AFICIONADOS MAKE THEIR OWN. FOLLOW THESE TIPS TO PREP A HEALTHY BREW FOR A REFRESHING PERK-ME-UP.
SUPP CHECK RECOVERY PACKAGE
COLLAGEN IS TOUTED AS THE GO-TO SUPP FOR BONE, SKIN AND JOINT HEALTH, PLUS FAST INJURY REPAIR. BUT DOES IT DELIVER? TIME TO GEN UP.
THE SEMI-COMPLETE USER'S GUIDE TO...THE SINUSES
FOR AS LONG AS sinuses have been around, aka forever, there has been a ton that scientists haven't figured out about them.
BULLISH
The Blue Bulls scrumhalf Embrose Papier is striving for greatness. Here's how he's putting in the right reps to make sure mind and muscle are firing in unison.
