I had always imagined myself in a traditional family structure as an adult (first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby, etc.). But somewhere in the back corners of my mind, I had a Plan B: single parenthood.
In my late 20s, as each successive date or relationship didn't turn into "the one," I put my resolve into words: "If I am still single at 35, I'll have a baby on my own."
Once I started saying it out loud, I noticed that many other single women also had the idea of diving into single motherhood at some point if they didn't find a partner. I talked to two others, Joyce Gabbert and Crystal King, for this story. The details of our experiences are different - Joyce had her daughter more than two decades ago; Crystal had two kids two years apart - but we all wanted to control our own destinies when it came to building our families.
When I turned 35, I felt ready-more than ready, in fact-to start the next phase of my life. I approached the turning point with pragmatism: first a doctor's appointment to remove my IUD and get a referral to a fertility specialist, learning about fertility options and the associated costs (which can reach into the tens of thousands of dollars) and getting baseline tests done to assess my fertility. I decided to start with an intrauterine insemination (IUI), which I described to friends as just slightly more complicated than the so-called "turkey baster" approach. I picked an unknown donor from a sperm bank and started the process, knowing that with only about a 15% rate of pregnancy per IUI for someone like me, it would probably still be some time before I was pregnant.
After a roller coaster that involved one year, five IUIS, one miscarriage and two IVF implantations, I finally got pregnant with a healthy baby girl.
Denne historien er fra January - February 2023-utgaven av Good House Keeping - US.
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Denne historien er fra January - February 2023-utgaven av Good House Keeping - US.
Start din 7-dagers gratis prøveperiode på Magzter GOLD for å få tilgang til tusenvis av utvalgte premiumhistorier og 9000+ magasiner og aviser.
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Bring On the Thanks
Embrace the best part of the holidays the chance to share great food with friends and family. Delicious inspiration awaits.
Guide to a Stress-Free DINNER PARTY
This article provides practical tips for hosting a successful dinner party, including planning the menu, setting the scene with decor, and adding thoughtful touches to delight guests. From invitations to finishing details, it covers everything for a memorable event.
ESSENTIAL TIPS for Memory Maintenance
We forget things for all sorts of reasons stress, distraction, lack of sleep. Go from brain blips to gleaming gray matter with this expert advice.
The Mental Health Benefits of Cats - How our feline friends keep our minds purring
A recent survey on pets and mental health by the American Psychiatric Association and the American Veterinary Medical Association found that 84% of pet owners reported that their pets had a positive impact on their mental health. For twothirds of survey participants, the companionship pets offered was key to a positive mindset. Howard Liu, M.D., M.B.A., chair of the American Psychiatric Association's Council on Communications, an adult and child psychiatrist and chair of the UNMC Department of Psychiatry, says feline companionship may be especially beneficial and meaningful for people struggling with anxiety, depression and autism spectrum disorder as well as people who have a history of trauma. Of course, cats aren't a magic pill, Dr. Liu says: "Every person and every cat is unique, so owning a pet is not a guarantee of better mental health." However, people who live with chronic mental health conditions often list spending time with their cats as a coping strategy for when they are sad, anxious or frightened.
Can Anything Really Firm Your Face? - Countless complexion brands tout skin-tightening solutions like firming skincare products, at-home devices and professional treatments
Countless complexion brands tout skin-tightening solutions like firming skincare products, at-home devices and professional treatments. Here, our experts get real about whether these techniques can actually help skin bounce back once it starts to go lax. Sagging skin is caused primarily by the loss of collagen and elastin (proteins that give skin structural support and elasticity) with age, says Mamina Turegano, M.D., a dermatologist at Sanova Dermatology in New Orleans. And there's no shortage of potions proclaiming to counteract it with firming and lifting effects. Most commonly in serum and moisturizer form, these products contain ingredients like peptides, retinol, vitamin C, growth factors and niacinamide that purport to stimulate collagen production or ones that plump skin, such as hyaluronic acid.
The Stress-Busting Hack That's Right Under Your Nose- Breathwork is more than the wellness trend du jour- it's a science-backed route to relief from multiple modern ailments.
“OK, OK, just take a breath.” If that’s what a friend advises after you panic-share about a major-anxiety-inducing situation — your teen taking his maiden solo voyage behind the wheel, work instability, another high-stakes world crisis dinging your phone every few minutes — it’s probably because they hate seeing you so on edge. But also, your friend is offering an effective means of slowing your spin. “The way you breathe affects anxiety, and anxiety affects how you breathe,” says James Nestor, author of Breath: The New Science of a Lost Art. “It’s a two-way street, and while anxiety isn’t a conscious choice, our breathing is.”
Do Men Really Not See The Mess? - The answer might surprise you. Journalist and author Gemma Hartley pulls back the curtain to reveal the invisible forces that drive this all-too-common cause of marital strife.
There was a time, earlier in my marriage, when every morning as I walked into the kitchen I braced myself for the rage and resentment that would well up in me.Cupboards left open. Dirty dishes in the sink. Coffee cups strewn around the house. And usually a pair of slippers or shoes, with inside-out socks, on the floor somewhere nearby. Even when I had left the house spotless the night before, I’d wake to a scene of disarray — the mess my husband had left behind on his way out the door for work.I didn’t know which scenario seemed worse, my husband’s consciously expecting me to clean up these messes or his truly not noticing them at all. I found myself silently tallying these small resentments, furious and flummoxed in turn that he seemed oblivious to things that needed to be tidied up around the house. It seemed as if he was always waiting for me to tell him what had to be done, as if he was incapable of noticing the mess himself even when he was creating it.
BLISTERED BITES
Shishitos are delicious all yearand creepy on Halloween!
DRINK if you DARE
Welcome, vampires, skeletons and zombies: This spiritforward duo may be strong enough to wake the dead.
Have a scary-good HALLOWEN
The spookiest day of the year calls for tricks and treats!
