Has Your Life Been Hijacked?

If the life you’re living seems awfully similar to the one someone else dreamed up for you, it’s time to take back ownership of your world.

Go to university. Get a stable, well-paid job. Start a family. It was these three universal life commandments that were instilled in Kathryn, 32, by her parents from a young age. But when she’d achieved all three, she realised she’d followed the path she felt was expected of her, rather than forging her own. “I never felt satisfied. I was good at my job but I wasn’t doing what I truly felt passionate about. I knew there was more waiting for me,” she says. If you feel like everyone from your boyfriend to your barista has a theory on how you should live your life, we’ve got a news flash for you: you are the sole master of your destiny.

Why we do it

Not following the path we want can often stem from a desire to avoid conflict, says Emma Grey, director of work-life balance consultancy WorkLifeBliss. “Many of us have a well-developed need to be liked. We learn early in life that a way of achieving happiness is by pleasing others,” she explains. “When we grow up, we allow this to carry on, boosting our self-esteem like a sugar hit that, when it wears off, leaves us feeling unhappy.”

Fight the fear