Unbreak Your Heart: Coping With Disloyalty
Cosmopolitan Sri Lanka|August 2018

When he shamelessly admitted to cheating on me, I crawled into my bed crying, feeling less and less beautiful, hating myself for not trying harder to please him in bed. I realized, when I was supposed to blame him for his mistake, I was blaming myself.” – Yasara, 25 (married)

Yasodhara Kariyawasam
Unbreak Your Heart: Coping With Disloyalty

Often, being a woman is like being a psychic, because we typically know, when something doesn’t feel right in our relationship. The instinct eats us alive, and when we confront our partners about it, they either assure us that everything is fine or place the blame on us complaining that we’re being obsessive. Why do we believe them? Because cheaters tend to be naturally good liars.

THE BACKSTORY

Duplicity always has a backstory to it. It may be a random text message from an ex, an office meeting with a happy ending, innocent flirting gone wild, peer encouragement or rainy nights with a comfy bed and a phone. The thing is all these scenarios may seem interesting to the wandering mind. But are they really worth it?

According to Dr. Susan Heitler, a clinical psychologist, “Maybe 20% of people who cheat are serial sex fans. They will cheat no matter how good their primary love relationship may be. 80% of people who cheat are not. They're naive. Naive people slide into sexual feelings.”

IT’S A CHOICE

What are the actual reasons behind infidelity? There is the obvious lack of sex or emotional intimacy factor. However, when someone is unfaithful, it is a choice and a disrespectful one at that. There are underlying reasons for this choice.

It may be the upbringing of the person — not having a male role model at home or being brought up in an environment where deceit was normalised.

Denne historien er fra August 2018-utgaven av Cosmopolitan Sri Lanka.

Start din 7-dagers gratis prøveperiode på Magzter GOLD for å få tilgang til tusenvis av utvalgte premiumhistorier og 9000+ magasiner og aviser.

Denne historien er fra August 2018-utgaven av Cosmopolitan Sri Lanka.

Start din 7-dagers gratis prøveperiode på Magzter GOLD for å få tilgang til tusenvis av utvalgte premiumhistorier og 9000+ magasiner og aviser.

FLERE HISTORIER FRA COSMOPOLITAN SRI LANKASe alt
Letting go of fear
Cosmopolitan Sri Lanka

Letting go of fear

Oozing confidence, Shalindri Malawana learned a long time ago how to take on anything life thrust at her.

time-read
3 mins  |
April-June 2020
Conservation and care
Cosmopolitan Sri Lanka

Conservation and care

Savera Weerasinghe’s career, from a non-profit to the manufacturing industry to sustainability, has always had a single common theme: start small, think big.

time-read
3 mins  |
April-June 2020
A woman with a cause
Cosmopolitan Sri Lanka

A woman with a cause

Shiandra Gooneratne is in a bat t le against an age-old enemy and plans to make a difference

time-read
3 mins  |
April-June 2020
Telling stories making space
Cosmopolitan Sri Lanka

Telling stories making space

Nabeela Yaseen created a platform for women and girls to feel safe, seen, and supported. She never expected just how many of them would need it.

time-read
3 mins  |
April-June 2020
Saving the environment
Cosmopolitan Sri Lanka

Saving the environment

Anoka Abeyrathne, a conservationist and social entrepreneur, is only just getting started

time-read
4 mins  |
April-June 2020
Doing her own thing
Cosmopolitan Sri Lanka

Doing her own thing

Shifani Reffai has done a lot of different things. But she’s done them all her way.

time-read
3 mins  |
April-June 2020
Dance etched  in her veins
Cosmopolitan Sri Lanka

Dance etched in her veins

Thajithangani “Thaji” Dias lives and breathes dance

time-read
3 mins  |
April-June 2020
Changing mindsets
Cosmopolitan Sri Lanka

Changing mindsets

Randhula De Silva, CEO of Hatch and Director of GIZ, is a disrupter at her core. And she’s just get ting started.

time-read
4 mins  |
April-June 2020
A guide to making it big in your career
Cosmopolitan Sri Lanka

A guide to making it big in your career

It 's in the details

time-read
4 mins  |
April-June 2020
How To Watch A Movie Alone And Have The Best Time Ever
Cosmopolitan Sri Lanka

How To Watch A Movie Alone And Have The Best Time Ever

Movie marathon, anyone? No? Cool, I‘ll go solo!

time-read
3 mins  |
January 2020