ADHD And Relationships

DR QURATULAIN ZAIDI of MindNLife discusses strategies for couples whose relationship is affected by ADHD.

- Dr Quratulain Zaidi

ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) is a neuro developmental disorder that involves problems with attention, concentration, impulse control and increased activity levels. Millions of people are affected by the disorder, and it has many faces. Boys were once thought (incorrectly) to be more commonly affected – and that they would just “grow out of it”. In fact, boys, girls, men and women can all live with the effects of ADHD, across every age, ethnicity and socioeconomic status, and it can cause significant impairment at work, in school and in the lives of those affected by it.

Symptoms differ from person to person, but there are three basic types:

#1 Primarily Inattentive: the main symptoms are inattention, distraction, and disorganisation.

#2 Primarily Hyperactive/Impulsive: symptoms of hyperactivity and impulsiveness are evident, especially in childhood.

#3 Combined: this type has symptoms from each of the other two.

Research into the mysteries of ADHD is booming. It’s being redefined as an executive functioning disorder rather than a behavioural one. Research in 2017 revealed it as the most common childhood mental disorder, affecting one in 10 children and teens, and one in 25 adults.

Undiagnosed ADHD affects millions of adults and their romantic relationships. In the past year, I’ve seen more and more couples coming in whose relationships have been impacted by the disorder. Sometimes, the adults aren’t even aware of their ADHD; or, their child has been diagnosed first, and they’ve only started to recognise it in themselves.

Understanding ADHD and how it affects a couple can help improve things, and there are certain strategies and tools that can be implemented for achieving a healthy, fulfilling and calm relationship.

Impact on the relationship