...but it may also be the most useful one. Psychologist Harriet Lerner schools us in the art of the apology
Acknowledging badly bruised feelings and mending fences has never been so imperative, both at a political level and among neighbours, so psychologist Harriet Lerner is stepping up to help us. She shares her thoughts on saying sorry well and deciding which apologies we should accept. After all, she says, it’s part of the human condition to “take turns at being the offender and the offended”.
FIRST, QUIT APOLOGISING UNNECESSARILY
It interrupts the flow of conversation and irritates the person who has to stop and offer reassurance, like, “Don’t worry about it.” Just as difficult as toning down the overuse of “sorry” is offering an apology when one is due. Even over-apologisers become non-apologisers when it comes to taking responsibility for behaviours that conflict with our favoured image of ourselves. And the more serious the wrongdoing, the harder it is to offer a genuine apology without excuses or blame-reversing.
ALWAYS MAKE A SINCERE APOLOGY
Denne historien er fra April 2017-utgaven av ELLE Australia.
Start din 7-dagers gratis prøveperiode på Magzter GOLD for å få tilgang til tusenvis av utvalgte premiumhistorier og 9000+ magasiner og aviser.
Allerede abonnent ? Logg på
Denne historien er fra April 2017-utgaven av ELLE Australia.
Start din 7-dagers gratis prøveperiode på Magzter GOLD for å få tilgang til tusenvis av utvalgte premiumhistorier og 9000+ magasiner og aviser.
Allerede abonnent? Logg på
Books: Shelf-Care
Find a little respite in this season’s most exciting new reads
Men's Rites
Deciding to go through a gender transition isn’t easy for anyone. But the hardest person for journalist Daniel Mallory ortberg to convince was himself
Kick Start
In these uncertain times, louis vuitton’s artistic director nicolas ghesquière is looking to the past to help make sense of the future
Music: Everything Is Illuminated
Phoebe Bridgers is a musician who revels in the darkness, albeit having earned her place in the spotlight
SUPER NATURE ESCAPISM WILDERNESS BREATHING INFRESH AIR BATHING IN SUNSHINE
IN THE SPIRIT OF DISCOVERY AND NEW HORIZONS, MODEL GEORGIA FOWLER HEADS FOR THE GREAT OUTDOORS
THE big CLEANSE
WE’VE PURGED OUR KITCHEN CABINETS OF SUGAR AND CULLED THE CLOTHES THAT DON’T SPARK JOY, BUT WE MAY HAVE ARRIVED AT THE MOST BENEFICIAL (AND EASIEST) CLEANSE OF ALL
TALKING to strangers
SINCE THE EARLY 1900S, AN AGONY AUNT HAS BEEN A WILLING EAR. BUT AT A TIME OF DMS AND ASKME-ANYTHINGS, SEEKING ADVICE FROM SOMEONE YOU DON’T KNOW HAS BECOME RISKY BUSINESS
singled OUT
WE’VE ENTERED AN ERA OF MYRIAD RELATIONSHIP STATUSES – COUPLED, FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS, OPEN, POLYGAMOUS, THREE-DIGITALDATES-IN-BUT UNSURE-WHERE-THIS-IS-GOING. But is flying solo the last taboo?
GYPSY CREEK
INTERIOR DESIGNER LOUELLA BOÌTELGILL TAKES US INSIDE HER QUIRKY BYRON BAY HINTERLAND CREATION, WHICH OVERFLOWS WITH A BEACHY, HAPPY VIBE
DRIVE: DESIGN in motion
HOW THE HOTTEST INTERIOR TRENDS COULD DEFINE WHAT YOUR NEXT CAR LOOKS LIKE
