Muslims And Sexuality

Being faithful to personal and societal beliefs can sometimes lead to a redefinition of firmly held opinions.

- Wazina Zondon

First rule of the Internet: never read the comments. But I always do and it often leads me down a dark hole wondering if people from my communities, Muslim and LGBTQIA+ (I’ll be using queer), really consider me as a clueless and confused anomaly trying to get attention.

Even before the Internet provided confirmation, I had inklings deep down that these were the opinions of many. Why is it so hard for others to accept that being queer and Muslim is possible, including ourselves at times?

Like many within the queer community will tell you—I always knew.

I always knew that I was not heterosexual (fine, maybe I didn’t use those words) but I knew who I was.

I always knew that I was not like my parents, my cousins or other girl children I grew up with. I noticed they had inclinations to create couples within binaries that only offered a boy and girl/ husband and wife as options. I didn’t have a problem with it and I could take on the role of wife because it was just played, but I always knew it would not be who I would grow up to be.

My first memory of any sexual awakening, while strange to share aloud, truly captures the essence of sexual orientation for me. I was six or seven years old, having just finished watching an episode of Knight Rider with David Hasselhoff and I remember a rise of sexual energy that was never there before. Not knowing what to do with these feelings internally, I decided to act on them but replicating only what I had seen on TV. I strutted up to the soft, crushed velvet material of our apartment’s couch and started to kiss it, mimicking whatever I thought was how people expressed this sensation.