It's a sunny day, and I'm crying as Wilco's darkness is cheap, a track off the stalwart indie band's new album, Cruel Country, plays on a crappy Bluetooth speaker on the dining-room table that doubles as my desk. There are birds outside fighting at the feeder, and the sky is blue after days of rain and the endless gray that defined spring in Chicago this year. Frontman Jeff Tweedy's brittle voice fills gaps between the sparse instrumentation. A horn, a piano, a guitar. It's beautiful and sad in the way so many things are nowadays. Before I realize it, tears are rolling down my cheeks.
It's been a long few years. For me, for you, for Jeff Tweedy.
Amid the crushing isolation of the pandemic, divisive politics, and a creeping sense of powerlessness over it all, it was easy to feel lost and alone. As Tweedy, 54, sings elsewhere on the album, It's hard to watch nothing change. This wasn't the first time he felt adrift, and it probably won't be the last. But the past few years altered him, he says, in a way that feels new. Good, even. During this period of deprivation,
Tweedy says, it occurred to me that making music is really everybody trying to figure out how to have more good days than fucking bad days. Tweedy knows bad days. The beating heart of Wilco, he has publicly struggled with addiction and anxiety, depression, and debilitating migraines. Migraines so bad that when he was a boy, he'd vomit dozens of times in a night from the pain, regularly landing in the hospital for dehydration. A Vicodin habit to numb the discomfort came later-on tour in 2004, he'd pass out in the bathtub, thinking he might not wake up. Rehab kicked the pills, but the migraines still rage. He had one this morning, pushing our conversation back by hours.
Denne historien er fra Summer 2022-utgaven av Esquire US.
Start din 7-dagers gratis prøveperiode på Magzter GOLD for å få tilgang til tusenvis av utvalgte premiumhistorier og 9000+ magasiner og aviser.
Allerede abonnent ? Logg på
Denne historien er fra Summer 2022-utgaven av Esquire US.
Start din 7-dagers gratis prøveperiode på Magzter GOLD for å få tilgang til tusenvis av utvalgte premiumhistorier og 9000+ magasiner og aviser.
Allerede abonnent? Logg på
hasan minhaj had a very strange year
The comedian felt the wrath of the Internet AND lost a career-defining job opportunity. NOW he's back with an interview series, A NEW NETFLIX SPECIAL, and a fresh perspective on his COMEDY.
the perfect girl friend
Flirty, sexy, seductive, supportive. Your AI companion can be whatever you want her to be. And now a growing number of men are turning to bots to ease their loneliness or satisfy their kinks. The choices are endless. The emotions are real.
thinker
Andrew Garfield has big ideas about life and death-even a theory about the nature of time. Over an afternoon at one of his favorite New York City haunts, the actor let us into his world.
priceless
At Hermès, Axel de Beaufort will make whatever you imagine. Its value can be measured not in dollars but in the hours spent crafting it and the beauty it adds to the world.
shoes with staying power
The Shannon lace-up from Church's is a study in enduring style
THE MIDLIFE CRISIS? TRY THE THREEQUARTER-LIFE QUANDARY.
Black men's life expectancy is short, thanks to history. At 49, am I on the downslope?
HOW THE DEMOCRATS GOT THEIR GROOVE BACK
They've been flinching ever since Reagan, but the party has finally figured out who they are.
WRITTEN ON THE BODY
As we age, we're fighting a losing battle against memory. Maybe that's why, in my 40s, I've tattooed myself with everything I can't bear to forget.
I Wore This Jacket to Death. Now It's Even Better.
Menswear designer Aaron Levine, who helped revitalize brands like Abercrombie & Fitch and Club Monaco, explains why he reaches for his Carhartt again and again and again
Check Yourself
Todd Snyder and Woolrich have teamed up to create a new breed of wearable luxury fashion. The iconic buffalo plaid remains a staple.
