Do you say sorry more than eight times a day? Donna Tang says over-apologising is holding women back. Here’s why you should change tack.
How often do you say “sorry”? You might be surprised – try keeping count today. A British survey found that adults say “sorry” an average of eight times, and up to 20 times, daily. When I kept count, I hit 32.
It seems like a harmless habit at first. Many of us use ‘sorry’ like punctuation, as in “Sorry, did you get my e-mail?”. We say it in place of “excuse me”. It’s like a social lubricant we use to get along, without really meaning it.
I didn’t think it was a problem until I came across the Daily Apology Checklist (right) from Sarah Cooper’s new book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting
Men’s Feelings. After laughing through half the list, I started to feel uncomfortable about how close to home it hit – and how ridiculous the things we apologise for seem to be when they’re written down.
It got me thinking: is it possible to apologise too much?
NO OFFENCE
I found I often said “sorry” because I was afraid of annoying someone, even strangers, such as cashiers when I paid for purchases with a $50 bill. This could be a problem. Constantly second-guessing others’ feelings for fear that you’re angering them is neither enjoyable nor productive. Worse, if you often apologise to counteract your own feelings of guilt – like I did when someone asked me for help at a time when I’d made other plans (“So sorry, I’ve something on!”) – this might reveal that you have trouble with saying no, and establishing healthy boundaries.
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Denne historien er fra May 2019-utgaven av Her World Malaysia.
Start din 7-dagers gratis prøveperiode på Magzter GOLD for å få tilgang til tusenvis av utvalgte premiumhistorier og 9000+ magasiner og aviser.
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Beauty The Natural Way
With climate change rapidly threatening the future of Mother Earth, we urgently need to curb further acts of destruction. We speak to Law Hong Mei, founder of The Olive Tree, about building a beauty brand that is sustainable from the core.
Even Pets Need Tummy Care?
For many, keeping a pet is more than just caring for an animal; pets are family members, too. We speak to veterinary surgeon, Dr Wafaa Abdul Washefffrom Pets Corner Sdn Bhd, to find out how your pets can stay healthy with a suitable diet
The Healing Power Of Unconditional Love
There’s a saying that goes, “Until one has loved an animal, a part of one’s soul remains unawakened.” For one woman, these words resonated deeply. An unlikely companion came into her life at her lowest point and changed everything.
YOU'VE GOT A FRIEND IN ME
“More than half of my time is spent with animals, but I enjoy it,” enthuses animal rescuer, Aileen Lee. The story of this selfless lady’s dedication and love for the fur kids she has saved will warm your heart.
MISSION: Catification
We discover why pet proofing your home ensures harmony and safety for both the owner and the cat.
THE ONE WHO'S TAKING ACTION
Best known for her extensively waitlisted Nina bag, Gabriela Hearst walks the talk when it comes to sustainable luxury. The New York-based designer shares her inspirations, dreams and resolutions for herself and her eponymous label.
BORN TO ENTERTAIN
YOU MIGHT RECOGNISE HER AS THE GENTLE AND LOVING MOTHER IN LEE CHONG WEI, THE BIOPIC OF THE BADMINTON LEGEND, OR THE VULNERABLE YET RESILIENT TEACHER IN WET SEASON, WHICH HIT THE CINEMAS IN MARCH. SOME OF US MAY HAVE SEEN YEO YANN YANN ON THE BIG SCREEN PLAYING VARIOUS CHARACTERS FOR MORE THAN A DECADE. STILL, SHE NEVER FAILS LEAVE HER AUDIENCE IN AWE OF HER ACTING PROWESS.
THE TRUTH BEHIND FAUX FUR
Is imitation fur still a feasible alternative in this modern, fashion-forward world? Nadhirah Othman uncovers how the fur industry – both real and fake – brings a detrimental impact to the well-being of our planet.
Surprising reasons WHY YOUR KID is under performing in school
You’re understandably frustrated that your child isn’t living up to her potential. But before you blame her attitude, check if these conditions are hindering her academically.
A PAWSITIVE' Life
Like in many parts of the world, pet culture has seen exponential growth in Malaysia. In this issue, Lorraine Chai discusses pet therapy, a method of treatment that is gaining traction, and also some of the pet trends you don’t want to miss out on.
